Red
by pumpkinprincess2
Summary: "no" Maka thought back "Everything will be ok" a tear rolled down her cheek, "I'm fine" Rated T for self injury, don't like it then don't read it
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys! so i know i haven't updated for "My Perfect Weapon" lately. I'm busy with finals. However, this just popped in my head and i had to get it on here before i forgot. *YES THERE IS SELF INJURY TURN BACK NOW IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT* this story is dark, but its what i'm feeling, i have had a lot of drama lately. i'm in a dark mood. enjoy :3**

Red.

Maka sat next to the open window, she was leaning against the wooden frame for support.

All she wanted was red.

She was curled in a tight ball, broken sobs escaping from her mouth.

"What's wrong with me?" She whispered silently to nobody.

Soul didn't know this side of her. When the flashing red letters on her alarm clock changed to 4 and her beloved sythe was asleep. Maka began to fall apart.

Maka thought of everything during this time, her friends that were never there, her dysfunctional father that leaves her cold, and the love of her life that will never love her back.

During the day Maka put on a mask. A pretty face and a kind heart, knowing exactly what to do and can achieve anything in the world.

If only that was the true her.

"beep"

Maka rose her head slowly, eyes rimmed red and tears flowing down her pink cheeks.

What her emerald eyes saw brought a twisted smile to her face, it was four at last, time to become happy.

The young girl pushed herself off of the cold floor and started towards the comfort of her warm bathroom.

Her fragile legs wobbled with excitement when she reached the bathroom door, she paused before opening it, resting her hand on the cold metal.

Finally she turned the knob and rushed into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind her quietly.

"click"

She turned on the light switch to reveal a normal bathroom.

The walls were painted egg shell white, there was a small shower, and fluffy white towels resting on their hangers. The counter was scattered with Maka's makeup products and Soul's cologne.

Maka smiled and picked up the navy blue bottle, she sprayed it carefully and inhaled the crisp scent.

"mmm" she hummed, "it's like having Soul in a bottle"

Finally Maka turned and faced the mirror, she inhaled sharply at the horrific sight.

Her pigtails were knotted, and black tears were running from her wide green eyes. Her nose was cherry red and she was wearing her daily attire.

"I'm so ugly" she thought as a tear ran down her face.

"not for long"

Maka lightly tugged on the rubberbands, they fell to the tiled floor and bounced off into corners of the small bathroom.

She looked up to see her sandy hair rippled around her slender face in loose waves and frowned.

Still not happy.

She loosened the silky green tie around her neck and threw it to the floor. Her fingers then wandered to the buttons of her stiff dress shirt.

She slowly released each button until the rough fabric restraining her popped open.

Maka shrugged her way out of the shirt, allowing it to fall to the floor in a pile of stiff fabric.

She opened her eyes and smiled at her reflection.

The black tank she wore exposed her arms to the open light, it was the true her, no longer hiding under the crisp fabrics of her dress shirt.

Everything was visible.

The cuts were visible.

Angry, red lines ran down her arms in narrow streaks.

She laughed softly and ran her fingers along the ridges of her lovely injury.

Maka studied the puckered lines, the sudden pain ripped through her.

She needed to do it again. Now.

Maka opened the medicine cabinet, inside was a small, red box.

She set the box on the counter with care and opened the delicate lid, inside was a pair of sparkling earrings.

They were white and beautiful, when you held them to the light they glinted red.

Soul had gotten them for her birthday.

Carefully slipping her thumbnail under the crack between the box wall and the cardboard the earrings rested on, she lifted up to reveal her secret.

A shiny razor.

Maka picked up the sharp metal and allowed it to rest in her open palm.

It glinted in the hard bathroom light, calling for Maka.

Maka held it between her thumb and forefinger, pointed her vulnerable wrist upward.

She slowly pressed down and watched it enter her.

"ouch"

Maka bit her lip at the sharp pain shooting up her arm.

A drop of red exited the wound and rolled down her arm. A plea for her to stop.

"No" Maka whispered

"I want more red"

She loved the color. It was the color of love. Maka had fallen in love with it, she liked the way it sparkled in the light, the way it trickled down her skin like she was a painting, the way it felt warm.

She slid the razor across her exposed skin and cried out at the pain

"Ah!" She squeezed her emerald eyes shut tightly and bit down on her lip to prevent waking Soul.

More deep red dripped down her creamy skin, reaching her elbow now.

Relief shot through her body and she smiled, "I'm alive"

Maka removed the razor from her wrist and placed it on her shoulder.

"more" she gasped before slipping it quickly across her shoulder

She bit down on her lip to prevent crying out. Soon her mouth was filled with the metallic taste of blood.

Red leaked down her shoulder slowly, her body was crying for her to stop, and Maka finally listened.

She set the razor down and looked in the mirror.

A tear rolled down her pale cheek

"I'm happy" she spoke softly

Her voice cracked and she began to cry

"Why cant it stay?" she whispered with pain

Maka grabbed a damp towel and dabbed up the red, once the bleeding stopped she bandaged herself.

With each passing minute her temporary happiness began to fade.

She set the razor back in it's hiding place under the earrings and stored the box away, never to be found.

She slipped the rough shirt over the black tank and redid her tie with a heavy heart.

She applied heavy makeup all over her face, her mask.

She brushed out her tangled hair and put it in even pigtails.

"MAKA?" Soul called "TIME FOR SCHOOL"

"Coming!" Maka called in a fake happy voice.

She smiled at her reflection in the mirror, although she was broken on the inside, she could at least act like she was ok.

"Aren't you afraid?" part of her asked

"no" Maka thought back "Everything will be ok"

A tear rolled down her cheek

"I'm fine"


	2. The Way She Feels

**First let me say, sorry this is so short. I will make the next chapter longer I promise. Please enjoy the story! R/R, I want to know what you guys think of it :)**

"Maka! Wait up!"

The meister turned her head to see her partner running to catch up with her. He was wearing shorts and a blue tshirt with his usual headband

"Hurry up Soul" she yelled over her shoulder and kept walking down the broken concrete sidewalk on her way to the DWMA

Suddenly she felt a pair of strong arms loop around her waist and hoist her into the air

"Hey!" the blonde fumed "put me down Soul!"

The weapon laughed, "Not until you cheer up!"

He spun the small girl in circles and set her down

Maka glared at Soul, he returned her stare with a goofy smile

The meister couldn't help but smile back at her best friend

Soul's eyes raked over Maka's body and he snorted "What are you wearing stupid? Its like 80 degrees out!"

Maka's smile fell and the sparkle in her green eyes dulled out, "I get cold"

The girl was wearing a long sleeved dress shirt with a green tie and a plaid skirt. Her hair was in its usual pigtails

Soul snorted "well you better not get too cold! The class beach trip is next week"

Maka sighed, she'd completely forgotten about the annual trip to the beach. How was she going to cover the angry red lines if she was wearing a bikini? Nobody else would think they were pretty

She sniffed and fought back tears

Soul put a finger under her chin, forcing her to look at him. He tilted his head with confusion, "Why do you look so sad?"

Maka looked into her weapon's eyes. The blood red orbs were filled with confusion and concern

She turned quickly and began to walk away "It's nothing Soul"

"Hey! Hang on a second!" Soul reached out and grabbed her arm tightly

"Ouch!" Maka screamed out

His fingers dug into the open cuts under her dress shirt, she could feel it through the bandages, a stinging pain prickling through her body

Maka dropped to her knees, squeezed her emerald eyes shut and bit her lip to cancel out the unbearable pain

"Maka!" Soul bent down next to her and put a firm hand on her shoulder

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" His eyes were wide and he spoke frantically

Maka opened her eyes slowly and looked into the ruby eyes of her best friend, she didn't want to hurt him.

"No"

She got to her feet and brushed herself off

"I'm fine don't worry"

Soul hopped up and put his hands on both of her shoulders

"What happened to you Maka?"

The meister shifted her emerald eyes to the concrete, hiding in her hair, avoiding eye contact

"I feel like your so distant"

Maka looked up with a sudden burst of anger "I'm fine!"

Soul looked down when he spotted something

"Why are you bleeding?"

Maka's mouth dropped and she looked down at her arm, sure enough the blood had leaked through the bandages and absorbed into her dress shirt. Soul's sharp grasp had opened the fresh cuts.

A brilliant red was spreading along her crisp, white shirt.

Soul was dumfounded

"Did I grab you that hard?"

Maka snorted at her friend's stupidity

"No, it's not your fault"

"Then what happened?"

The white-haired weapon's eyes were pleading. For truth, answers, the old Maka

Maka opened her mouth to spill out a lie

I fell; she had used that one with Tsubaki

I bleed easy; Kid

Battle Wound; Papa

Sleepwalking accident; Patty

All of these lies had become so natural to her, they were never ending and hurtful. But worst of all, addictive.

"I-"

Maka was interrupted by the acadamey's shrill tardy bell

She exhaled with relief, "Soul I need to go to class!"

"No Maka wait!" Soul called out

But her long legs were propelling her towards the academy, leaving her best friend confused and alone.

Maka fought back bitter tears, he didn't need to know.

It was for the best.


	3. Never Too Late

**Hey everyone! I know it isn't that long but here is a long requested update to Red! I'll write again soon I pinky promise :)**

**Also anyone going through the same thing as Maka..I also suffered through it and if you ever need anyone to talk to feel free to message me for a friend. In reviews I think it's be cool for people to write their past depression stories, so everyone can relate and let it out. Maybe I'll type my own as an authors note in another chapter..**

**Enjoy!**

**XOXO eMiLy**

"I love the beach!"

Patty Thompson sprinted off the old, yellow school bus with a very frightened Kid in tow.

"Patty! Put me down, I command you!"

"YAHOO!" Black*Star ran off the bus after his friend's as he could and towards the white sand "OCEAN! PREPARE TO MEET YOUR NEW GOD!"

It was the last day of school, exams were over and the students could relax and enjoy themselves. For their hard work at the academy, all students were rewarded with a trip to Death Beach.

Tsubaki stepped off the bus and looked after them with a worried expression, "Liz should we go after them?" Her black hair was let down to her waist and shimmered blue in the sunlight.

Liz pushed up her large sunglasses and stretched her arms, "Nah, Kid will be fine. Plus I need those two far away if I'm going to work on my tan."

The Demon Weapon didn't seem too convinced, she started to march after her weapon but Liz held her arm out to stop her, "Relax, you don't need to babysit him all the time. It's the last day of school, just take a break."

After many other students Soul walked off the bus, dragging his reluctant meister, Maka.

"Soul let me go! I want to stay in the shade!"

He let go of her suddenly, causing the stubborn blonde to drop to the sand. She stood up with a huff, brushing herself off.

"What on earth are you wearing?" Liz laughed at her flustered friend.

The petite blonde was wearing a baggy DWMA sweatshirt and a pair of dark jeans.

Tsubaki face-palmed, "Maka sweetie, you do realize its 100 degrees outside?"

Maka glared at her two friends, "I know that! It's just-"

Liz cut the girl off "Look, she's sweating! Maka take off the sweatshirt!"

Tsubaki and Liz giggled and tried to pull the baggy fabric off of Maka, "Come on girly don't be shy! Lets see that bikini body!"

Maka's mint eyes widened in fear and she pushed her two friends back with as much force as her tiny body could handle.

"NO!" Maka's panicked scream echoed through the whole beach.

Everyone froze and looked at the small blonde. Maka turned red and looked down, "no" she said quietly.

Soul glared at her with angry red eyes, "look, I don't know what your problem is lately but it's getting on my nerves!"

He pointed a tanned finger at her, "You've been bringing us down all week, but today is a celebration. If you want to act like a freak that's fine with me, just stay out of my way!"

Her best friend stormed away with Liz by his side, Tsubaki looked at her with pleading eyes but continued to go with the crowd. Leaving Maka alone.

* * *

><p>Maka sighed and looked down at the sidewalk. She had tried not to cut, she wanted to be able to swim with her friends. But she couldn't stop herself from doing it.<p>

She looked at the heavy book in her delicate arms, she might as well find somewhere to read it and pass the time.

The meister walked down the boardwalk, it really was a pretty beach. There was white sand, a glistening blue ocean, and shops lined the path. There were beautiful colors everywhere, street performers, kites, and boats. The smell of hot dogs drifted through the air.

Finally Maka found a restaurant, it was outdoor with an umbrella at each polished white table for shade. A roof was overhead with fans to keep costumers cool, but each side was open giving everyone a view of the beautiful beach.

Maka sat at a table and opened her book with a sigh, she was getting funny looks from the people around her. A group of teenagers walked past snickering, "look at her, such a freak". Maka's face turned pink due to embarrassment and the summer heat getting to her.

It was really hot out and Maka was beginning to sweat, she looked enviously at the other teens in their swimsuits, hair wet with salt water, cooled off and refreshed.

"Is this seat taken?" a husky voice brought Maka back to her senses. She looked up to see Keagan Ebony, a meister in her class.

Keagan was what people would describe as "emo" he had blue-black hair that shone and swooped in front of his crystal blue eyes and contrasted with his snow-white skin. His usual band shirt and skinny jeans were replaced with a pair of black swim trunks, showing off his broad shoulders and perfect abs. His toned arms were decorated with large rubber bracelets and a tattoo of a guitar with lyrics on his bicep.

Maka looked up at him with confusion, she had never actually talked to Keagan, even though he'd gone to her school for a long time "Uhh sure?" she gestured to the chair across from her. Keagan shot her a crooked smile and sat down.

He signaled to the busy waitress, "I'll have two cokes for me and the lady please" he purred and looked up at her through dark lashes, shooting an adorable smile.

"Uh-ya um ok, sure!" The waitress giggled nervously and walked back to the kitchen.

Maka rolled her eyes, what was it about band boys that turned girls into mush? They were always so emotional and in Maka's opinion, very feminine.

The waitress returned with two glasses of coke, Keagan handed her a five dollar bill and winked, "Keep the change"

He then focused his attention to Maka, "So Albarn, why are you wearing a sweatshirt?"

Maka glared at him, "Why are you here?"

Keagan held his hands up defensively and took a sip of coke, "Hey, I'm just wondering why a girl as pretty as you wouldn't want to show off her bikini body"

The blonde turned red with embarrassment and closed her book loudly, "Look Mr. Dark and Mysterious, I'm not in the mood for this right now."

He put a hand on her thin shoulder, "relax babe, just calm down ok?"

Maka focused a death glare on him and took a sip of her coke, she loved feeling the bubbles tickle her tongue.

"So when did you start cutting?"

The blonde's green eyes widened and she spit the brown liquid all over Keagan's face.

"Dude! Not cool" The guitarist took a cloth napkin and wiped his sticky face

Maka looked away, "I don't know what you're talking about"

Keagan rolled his crystal eyes, "right" he sat back and crossed his arms behind his head, "do you think I was born yesterday?"

The tiny girl continues to look down at her feet, her braided pigtails hung around her flushed face, she bit her lip.

The black haired boy took it as an opportunity to continue, "Look babe, I know what you're feeling right now. I know what it's like to feel lost, alone, like your only friend is the blade"

He leaned forward on his elbows and put a hand under Maka's chin revealing her tear-stained face, "You aren't alone honey, I know the people you hang with wouldn't understand, so talk to me. I'm here for you"

Tears burst from Maka's wide eyes and Keagan wrapped his arms around her tight, stifling her desperate cries.

"T-thank you" Maka managed, her voice thick with tears

Keagan smiled, "you're welcome"

They pulled apart and he wiped the tears out of her minty eyes.

"I bet you really want to get out of that" he gestured to her heavy sweat shirt.

Maka whipped her eyes with a blue napkin and nodded. "But I can't"

Keagan smiled and held up his beach bag, "yes you can" he took her small hand and pulled her away, "Come on"

**So do you guys like Keagan? What do you think about the new chapter? Please leave a review and let me know, reviews really motivate me :)****_  
><em>**


	4. Bulletproof Love

**A/N I'm so sorry..for the wait and for the length of this crummy chapter.**

**School started and not only am I in 3 AP classes, but I also have cheerleading, KEY club, Junior Advisory, AND I have a job at Panera Bread. I'm so tired, but I thought I owed you guys a chapter. I'm sorry for the legnth, Lit has drained me to the point of me being sick of writing. But it made me feel a little better making you guys happy I guess :)**

**Also:yay for my latest boyfriend Keagan! I'm glad you guys like him, I really do to. It's funny because I'm like the preppy, blonde, secret dork cheerleader, and he's super emo xp we've been best friends for a long time, and he surprised me 2 months ago by asking me out! he has no idea I even write these things, or like anime for that matter :o he really likes adventure time though so I might come out of my otaku closet xp ANYWAY end of rant..enjoy the chapter!**

**XOXO eMiLy**

"Class open your books to page 81"

Maka flipped through the crisp white pages of her heavy textbook

Her emerald eyes were aimed down on the tiny black print but she couldn't concentrate, an urge was distracting her from reading

The urge to cover every spot on her ugly body with beautiful red slashes

The urge to slide the glistening sharp metal, cold and familiar to the touch, across her porcealin skin and watch the life pour in brilliant color out of her open wrists.

Maka shivered, this urge scared her, this urge could kill her.

Not that she cared about death.

The blonde bit her full bottom lip and snapped the rubberband on her small wrist. The spark of dull pain usually helped tide over the urge until she could fulfill it, but today it wasn't helping.

Maka tilted her head into one palm to cover and quickly buried her red painted nails into her neck and scratched

A single tear traveled down her smooth face from the pain, but the satisfaction was worth it.

Maka tried to relax, but got the sudden feeling that someone was watching her

She snapped her head up quickly and she was caught in her partner's intense gaze.

His red eyes were wide and questioning, like a puppy that had just been yelled at.

Maka wondered what was going through his head, was it her behavior? Her distance? Her sudden obsession with band bracelets?

During the beach trip Keagan had covered her cuts in concealer and gave her thick, band bracelets to cover the angry marks.

Maka wanted to tell him, but she couldn't, it would hurt him. His eyes burned with questions she couldn't answer, things she hid from him.

Finally Maka sighed and looked down, but she could still feel the force of his red gaze on her for the rest of class.

"RINGGGG"

Maka let out a breath of relief, the shrill bell indicated the class was finally over. She saw Soul look up at her, she knew he could catch her and make her talk.

He shot up and stared making his way towards her, his mouth opened as if to say something and his hand reached out to grab her.

Maka clumsily threw the various text books and pages of notes into her bag, she pushed past her classmates crowding the aisles. They grumbled and complained at her pushing but she didn't care, she couldn't let Soul catch her.

Suddenly, her bag got caught on a table and time stood still as she fell towards the hard tile. She squeezed her emerald eyes shut, expecting the pain, but all she felt was a strong arm holding her up, keeping her from collapsing.

The blonde sighed, knowing that it was her partner, now that he had her she would be forced to answer the endless, burning questions that would break his heart.

"I'm sorry Soul"

"What?" Maka's eyes shot open, she recognized that voice, that deep, hoarse laugh.

She glanced up and saw her new "friend" Keagan Ebony, he gently let go of her arm and winked, "Better watch where you're going babe"

Maka cringed but remembered how he had helped her get through the dreaded school beach trip, Keagan wasn't so bad.

"Come on babe, lets go!" Keagan grabbed her small hand in his large fist and dragged her out of the classroom.

Maka heard her weapon's questioning voice yell "Wait!" as she held hands with the dark boy. It hurt her a little but it didn't matter much. Soul didn't love her the same as she loved him, and it was time to move on.


	5. Have Faith in Me

**Hello readers! I'm sorry but this will be the end of Red. I never found the time to write it and for that I apologize! Please enjoy the ending, and be sure to check out my others stories :)**

**Farewell,**

**Emily**

Maka continued to looked at the tiled floor as Keagan dragged her through the school.

Her mint green eyes were full of confusion and sorrow.

The image of Soul's hurt expression, the pain that sliced through the strawberry eyes she loved so much, continueosly replayed in her mind.

"Babe, why are you slowing down?"

Keagan turned around with a flip of his raven-black hair and looked at her with sparkling sapphire eyes.

Maka gasped as a tear dribbled down her cheek, she had really hurt Soul.

The dark boy sighed and patted Maka on the head, "Babe, you don't want this."

The small girl wiped the salty liquid away from her red-rimmed eyes and sniffed, "What?"

"You don't feel the way that I feel about you."

His voice was strained and his long black hair was covering the pain in his eyes.

"You still like that albino guy back there," the boy said tightly.

"Keagan I-"

"No."

He cut off the blonde girl before she could say anything.

"Go find him," he looked up through his hair with a forced smile, "Go find the boy you love and fix this mess."

Maka fidgeted with her clumpy black sweatshirt that seemed to overwhelm her small frame, "I can't tell him."

Keagan smiled and put a single index finger under her small chin, "You can, if he loves you then he will understand and his feelings won't change."

Big tear droplets overflowed Maka's emerald eyes and dribbled down her face, "And what about you?"she sniffed.

The boy gave her a sweet, crooked smile, before leaning in and claiming her lips.

The kiss was short and quick, to this day the only thing Maka can remember about her first kiss was that it was soft, kind, and his breath smelled like spearmint as he pulled away from her face.

"There," he said softly, stroking her cheek. "I have a souvenier."

Maka could feel the pain in his voice and see the hurt that sparkled in his eyes through his always-fake smile.

"Why are you still here, Babe?" Keagan laughed, "See me off with a smile." *

The blonde girl sniffed before looking up at him through honey blonde bangs and smiling widely, "Thank you Keagan, for everything."

Maka's black converse clomped down the school hallway as she ran desperately to find her partner, "SOUL!"

Her hoarse voice echoed down the hallways, she didn't care who heard her desperate shouts, she wanted-no, needed, to find Soul.

She cursed under her breath when she ran into something hard that blocked her path.

"You've always been clumsy."

Maka raised her eyes at the sound of the familiar voice to find that the something hard was Soul.

His eyes looked down at her questioningly as he offered her a large, calloused hand.

The small girl placed her small hand into his and smiled at the touch of their skin.

Before he could hoist her up in was as if a damn had broke and Maka franticly launched herself at her partner, tears streaming down her face as she clung to him desperately.

"Maka-what?" Soul's eyes were filled with panic, "It's ok, Maka"

His hand rubbed her back comfortingly and he held her small figure close.

"I'm so sorry Soul!" she sobbed between the flowing tears, "I haven't told you anything."

Soul closed his eyes and continued to comfort her, "Shhh, it's ok Maka, whenever your ready"

"No!" Maka sniffed, "I'm going to tell you everything."

She pulled apart and wiped her red rimmed eyes that turned from fear to courage.

"No more secrets."

* * *

><p>"Maka!" Soul's loud voice echoed through the pair's small apartment, "Are you ready to go yet?"<p>

"Yes!" Maka shouted back in a sweet voice to her boyfriend.

Soul's mouth dropped open when she came down the stairs wearing a flowy, white sundress.

"Do I look ok?" Maka blushed at his expression "I can change."

Before she could retreat back up the stairs a strong hand grabbed her's and she was immediately pulled back into a pair of arms.

"You look beautiful."

It had been three years since Maka had last harmed herself. With the help of her friends and loved ones she was able to stop for good.

This white haired angel she now called her boyfriend was the most help though, he was there for her whenever she needed him and helped her get through the darkest stage of her life.

His soft lips kissed each faint scar exposed on her open arms, Maka sighed as he made his way up her shoulder and to her exposed neck.

"Your strong, beautiful, and simply amazing Maka."

He mutter softly against her neck before kissing her on the lips.

"I love you."

Maka flushed as they pulled apart, she can't believe she just said that.

Soul smiled at her, his eyes lighting up like Christmas, "Say that again."

"I love you, I love you, I love you, Soul Evans!" She shouted happily.

Soul kissed her soft, pink lips, and spun her small figure around the room, white dress twirling behind her.

As he pulled apart and set her down, his red eyes that had always been like an open book suddenly reflected a new emotion, one just for her.

"I love you too, Maka."

He smiled crookedly and rested his forehead against her's, "Always."*

* * *

><p><strong>* Vocaloid reference! xp<strong>

*** Harry Potter reference! xp**

**I hope you enjoyed it!**


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